Star Trek TNG: Picard's Goodwill Mission
by Amanojaku-77
Summary: Picard volunteers himself along with two crew members to go on a goodwill mission to a planet considering joining the Federation. But the mission is not what he bargains for.
1. Chapter 1: Picard's Visitor

Picard entered his waiting room and walked to the replicator. Rubbing the space between his eyebrows with his thumb and index finger, the captain decided that he needed something a little different this morning. Plain old earl grey wasn't going to cut it.

"Irish tea," Picard ordered. "Warm."

A glass cup of brown liquid materialized and Picard grasped it in both hands. He behind his desk and sat down. Just before he could take a drink, however, he heard a familiar chirping sound—someone wanted to come in.

"Come," Picard said.

Picard internally groaned when he saw who it was. Ensign Wesley Crusher walked somewhat apprehensively to Picard's desk. Characteristically, his hands came together in front of him, fingers intertwined and moving. The fidgeting irked Picard. It must have shown on his face, because Wesley suddenly looked even more nervous.

"Yes, Mr. Crusher?" Picard sighed.

"Sir, I'll try to make this brief," Wesley said.

"In that case," Picard frowned, "you better take a seat." The captain had complete and absolute faith that Wesley would fail miserably at every goal he set. If the ensign wanted to make things brief, then this talk would be anything but.

A look of puzzlement flashed across Wesley's face, but it was instantly replaced by his perpetual expression of low-level nervousness. Wesley sat down in a chair facing the captain. Picard took a sip of his tea and frowned when he didn't taste any whiskey. That's when he remembered that Irish tea was an actual tea.

"Sir, Star Fleet just issued a fleet-wide request for a team of officers to volunteer for a goodwill mission on Glosant," Wesley said.

Picard said nothing while staring at Wesley. _I hate his face so much_, the captain thought. _I wish I could jump across this table and deck him right now._

Wesley continued, "One of the members needs to be a junior officer. I'd like to volunteer, sir."

Picard replied, "I see."

The fact was that Picard had often offered Wesley for Starfleet missions that required a junior officer. All these mission descriptions included terms like "extremely dangerous" or "high risk of personal injury or safety." Time and time again, unfortunately, someone else had always been chosen. Oh, if only Wesley knew how many times he had "volunteered" for missions. Picard felt a smile creep onto his face.

The smile seemed to have a reassuring affect on Wesley. The ensign seemed to relax. "Would you recommend me for the mission?"

Picard knew nothing about the mission Wesley was referring to. He still had yet to search through the endless stream of messages Starfleet Command sent to all its ships. The captain also knew nothing about Glosant (in fact, he had never heard of it). It was unusual for Wesley to volunteer for anything. Why exactly did this mission appeal to him?

The captain asked Wesley as much, but all he got was some nervous muttering from the ensign about duty and a great opportunity to learn more about new cultures and blah, blah, blah. It was the typical bulls**t answer.

Picard told Wesley he'd consider it and then kicked the ensign out of his waiting room. Wesley seemed mildly optimistic, but still nervous on the whole. Before leaving he thanked Picard for his time and recommendation.

After Wesley was gone, Picard went back to the replicator and carefully ordered another drink. Walking back to his desk, the captain kicked his feet on top of it and leaned back. Taking a sip of his new drink, Picard started going through the new batch of Starfleet messages, searching for the one Wesley had referred to.

He wasn't terribly interested, however. His mind was drifting to the thoughts of the poker game he would be joining that evening. Normally he didn't attend those regular games that his officers played, but he felt that hankering for something to do. Earlier, when he asked Riker to join, his executive officer looked both surprised and pleased. But Picard knew that wasn't true. He was once a mid-level officer himself. He knew the only reason why subordinates regularly meet was to complain about the captain. It was basically a team building exercise built on a mutual hatred.

Of course, with the captain present, there would be no complaints. There would be nothing but repressed and seething hatred at the fact that the captain was present during the time when the officers were suppose to unwind. Picard felt a big grin grow on his face. He loved messing with people.


	2. Chapter 2: Picard's Game

Riker walked up to a set of sliding doors to Data's stateroom and pressed the buzzer. It was Data's turn to host the poker game and, characteristically enough, when he answered, Data was wearing a green visor hat. Behind him, Riker could already see the poker table was prepared along with the cards and chips.

"Commander Riker, you are the first to arrive. Come inside, please. Would you care for beverage while we wait for the others?" the android said in a cordial, yet somehow monotonous tone.

"Nothing yet, thanks. But if I see that cat of yours I'm going to curb-stomp it into the deck below us," Riker replied.

Data made the prerequisite expression for thinking, then asked, "Commander Riker, I understand that some forms of earth humor use exaggeration. Should I assume your statement was meant as a joke?"

"No, it wasn't," Riker said.

"Ah. In that case, I will put Spot in another room."

Once Data's cat was placed out of sight, Riker came in and took a seat. He honestly hated that cat more than anything else on the ship, but he was in a bad mood to begin with. He was assigned watch on the bridge the following morning, so he would have to leave tonight's game earlier than usual. But what really made him angry was that Captain Picard was actually coming tonight!

Riker made the perfunctory invitations to the captain all the time. He always added how much the other officers would enjoy his presence. But Picard would politely decline, thus allowing for the officers to bitch and moan about the captain at the poker game. It was sort-of a team building exercise and the invite-and-decline system Riker and Picard had created worked out perfectly.

But then Picard actually accepted this time. Wonderful.

Riker didn't even try to hide his disappointment as the other officers started to appear. The next to show was Geordi. The visor usually made it hard to determine his expression, but Riker had little doubt what his feelings were when Geordi greeted him.

"The captain? Really?" Geordi said with his head cocked.

"I know," Riker grimaced.

As soon as he said that, Data answered the door and Worf appeared. Scowling he walked to the table and took his usual seat without saying a word.

Geordi chuckled, "In a good mood tonight, Worf?"

"I was informed earlier that…_the captain_ would be joining us," Worf replied.

Data sat down and turned to Riker. "Commander, I do not wish to be out of line, but what is up with that f*****g s**t?"

Riker sighed. "Look, I don't like it either. I guess sometimes even the captain likes to have s**ts and giggles, even if it's at our expense."

Then they heard the door buzzer. Usually, they played with four or five people, occasionally inviting either Dr. Crusher or Troi. However, tonight's fifth spot was reserved for the captain. Data gave a quick glance around the table before standing up and answering the door.

Captain Picard was standing there, smiling.

* * *

Picard took a sip of bourbon as he raised his poker hand. He had replaced three of the cards and all he was left with was a pair of sixes. He sucked at poker and he knew it. But, there was really no consequence to loosing. Money didn't really exist anymore and the replicators could materialize chips by the bucket load. If anything, losing was actually more fun for him. No one really liked making the captain lose and thus possibly putting themselves on his bad side. He could see all these seasoned poker players squirm in their seats after they won a hand (Picard never folded—not once).

Maybe he should make a show of how much it was bothering him. Maybe berate one of them and then add "just kidding." But then sneak in a disapproving frown. Oh, he loved this game.

Data raised the bet and Riker and Geordi folded. Worf had already folded earlier. The captain, as always, called. Data and Picard laid down there cards. The android had three nines and proceeded to collect the winnings. Picard didn't mind in the least, he brought plenty of chips with him.

Riker suddenly stood up. "I'm going to get some whiskey before we start the next hand. Anyone else want something?"

Worf asked for more prune juice, but everyone else declined the offer.

Then Picard spoke up. "Oh, you know, that reminds me of something. This morning, Wesley asked me to put him on a team of volunteers to go on a goodwill mission."

"A goodwill mission, sir?" Data asked as he gathered the cards and started shuffling (the officer had long since decided that the host would always be the dealer).

"Yeah, I looked at the Starfleet message requesting for the volunteers. Apparently this planet developed warp drive technology five years ago. The Federation made first contact and now the people there are considering joining. All the dignitaries, diplomats, high brass, et cetera are already making their spiel about the benefits of being in the Federation. But the people there also want to see what it will be like working alongside Starfleet officers. So now Starfleet Command is asking for teams of volunteers to go there."

Picard took another sip and gathered the cards Data was now dealing. Picard continued, "They want a team to all come from the same ship—three people: a junior officer, mid-level, and senior."

Worf looked puzzled (then looked briefly disappointed after seeing his card). In a possible attempt to hide tell, he asked, "So why does Ensign Crusher want to go?"

"No idea," Picard answered as he put in his _ante_. "I looked into the planet a little. The interesting thing about it is that there are two native sentient species living there. They were almost always at war with each other, but twenty years prior to developing warp drive, they put aside their differences. I guess they're all happy now and sing _Koombaya_ and s**t."

Staring at his cards, Riker asked absently, "What's the name of the planet?"

"Glosant," Picard said.

Looking at his cards, Picard realized he actually had a good hand this time! Two kings and three sevens! He actually had a full house on the first draw! _F*****g A_, Picard thought.

As everyone else what taking their second draw, Geordi suddenly perked up. "I think I might know why Wesley wants to go," he said.

"Why's that," Picard said, enjoying the thought of actually winning. He suppressed a chuckle and Worf asked for four cards.

"I was in _Ten-Forward_ yesterday. Wesley was sitting beside me and talking to another ensign that was just assigned to the _Enterprise_. He was a staff officer on his last assignment working for an Admiral that was part of a Starfleet delegation on Glosant."

Riker raised the bet. Data and Geordi folded, but Geordi continued talking. "Apparently, the females of at least one of the Glosant species is _ridiculously_ hot! And they are not shy about meeting aliens like us. You know, gettin' a little familiar?" A grin spread across Geordi's face.

Picard raised the bet and this time Riker folded. Worf, however, called. Showing a displeased look, he said, "That is _not_ a good reason to go on a mission."

Picard saw Riker lean back and chuckled at the klingon. "Not keen on meeting the locals?"

"If the mission is to demonstrate the qualities of Starfleet officers, then one should endeavor to behave professionally. Everyone on that mission should go realizing they are representing the entire Federation. They should show the people of that planet that we are honest, diligent, and honorable," Worf answered.

"I see," Geordi said. "Raise up their expectations and then when they join—_Bam!_" Geordi smack a fist into his palm. "Then they see what things are really like. It'll be hilarious. I like how you think, Worf."

Worf didn't seem to appreciate the joke.

Data suggested, "Perhaps you would change your mind if you went there."

Worf shook his head. "I am far too busy right now. Most of the security detail has been turned over. Many of the members have been onboard for less than a month. The training schedule would not allow for my absence."

"Well, Mr. Worf," Picard smiled, eager to get on with the game. "It's just you and me."

"I have already called on the bet," Worf replied.

"Oh, that's right," Picard smiled. The captain didn't win often, but occasionally it was nice to have that feeling. He was trying to draw this out as long as possible. He slowly lowered his hand and unsuccessfully suppressed a smirk.

"Full house," Picard said.

Worf laid down his cards and said, "Four tens."

_No, that's bulls**t_, Picard thought. "Well played, Mr. Worf," Picard said.

Somehow, the little bit of joy he received from losing suddenly vanished as he watched Worf rake in his winnings.

Picard played on a little longer, but then Riker excused himself to turn in earlier. With all the enjoyment of the game lost, the captain did likewise and went to his stateroom. Before turning in for the night, Picard opened of the Starfleet message requesting volunteers and briefly wrote up the reply.

He decided to choose himself, Wesley, and Worf as volunteers. If there were hot aliens to be had, then Picard _definitely_ wanted to go. He supposed that Wesley should get the chance too. After all, if it weren't for that one-on-one meeting, Picard would have just passed over that message and submitted some random names. Worf, however, had made him angry. If he were forced to go on a mission now, he would fall behind on his work. It seemed only fair when considering that he had four-of-a-kind after drawing _four_ cards!

_Four f*****g cards!_ Picard felt a frown creep onto his face.

He sent out the reply and walked to his bed. It really didn't matter anyway. Starfleet was accepting only a handful of teams, yet _every_ ship was required to submit a list of volunteers. The chances of going on this mission were slim-to-none.


	3. Chapter 3: Picard's Arrival

Picard watched the platform come into sight as the shuttle broke through the cloud cover. The platform was attached to a rather large building just at the edge of a giant city. The shuttle pilot informed him earlier that it was one of the largest on Glosant. He also told Picard the name of it, but he already forgot what it was.

He honestly didn't care. He couldn't remember half the names of the planets and cities he had come across throughout his career. Usually the only reason he could remember the name of a planet at all was because the aliens there were named after it, like Vulcan or Romulus. But that wasn't the case here. Since the planet had two superior life forms, both species of aliens had different names. Picard had read what they were called, but he forgot it two seconds after seeing it.

Actually, Picard was quite surprised to be here anyway (the odds of the _Enterprise_ team being selected was quite low). But only days after submitting his list, he received a call from an admiral to personally tell him that his team was going to Glosant. In fact, the people here actually _requested_ that he come! Apparently, his reputation preceded him.

The _Enterprise _set a course for the planet and, shortly afterward, rendezvoused with a delegation shuttle in Glosant orbit. Picard and his team were being transferred to the planet's surface at the moment. The _Enterprise_ left to go conduct training exercises and return in three weeks. Riker would be in command during that time.

Even though Picard didn't know how the Glosant aliens knew about him or why they requested he come, he still enjoyed the fact that they did. He tried to linger on that thought, but the captain was interrupted when he heard Wesley say, "Isn't this exciting?"

Picard turned in his seat to look at Wesley. The little twerp was sitting in a shuttle seat, hands clasps and smiling. Suppressing the urge to bitch-slap him, Picard replied, "Yes, but lets hope the rumors are true."

The "rumors" in this case were of the reported beauty of Glosant females. That's one fact Picard _did_ remember.

"Captain, I still do not understand why I was chosen to come."

Picard turned to his other side to see Worf looking at him. The klingon was clearly unhappy about the situation.

"Mr. Worf, don't start bitching _now_," Picard groaned. "At least wait until I'm liquored up. Then I'll be able to give you the proper amount of attention."

Worf looked angry, but at least he shut up. It was at that point that the shuttle landed.

Getting up and stepping outside, Picard saw the platform connected to a broad walkway that lead into the large building. An escort was there to meet the three _Enterprise_ crew members and take them inside. The escort, like the shuttle pilot, was human. They were both part of one of the Federation delegation teams that were scattered in various cities all over the planet. One inside the building, the team found themselves inside a large antechamber that was plainly decorated.

As the escort left, two more humans walked into the room.

"Hello, I'm Bernard Bozworth," said one of them. He was about Picard's height, but also thinner and older. The only noteworthy feature about his face was that he had a mustache. "This is Vagan," Bozworth motioned to the other man.

He looked considerably younger than his counterpart. His dirty blond hair seemed sort-of long; it was parted neatly down the center and folded down to his ears. His nose was also a bit longer than average. His eyes seemed rather sunken down into his face. He gave Picard the creepiest smile the captain had ever seen in his life when he spoke, "Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"You have no surname?" Picard heard Wesley inquire.

"No, but you may call me Vagan or Mr. Vagan. Either name is fine by me," Vagan said, creepy smile unabated.

Picard tried to ignore him and focus on Bozworth. The captain introduced himself along with Worf and Wesley.

After the polite bulls**t was out of the way, Bozworth started speaking again. "As you are aware, there are two sentient life forms that call this planet home. For this city, I'm the Federation liaison to the species that call themselves the fif. Vagan is the liaison to the species known as the velk."

"I enjoy my job immensely," Vagan said. When Picard turned to look at him, the man cocked his head slightly and grinned.

Bozworth cleared his throat, trying to ignore the inappropriate comment from Vagan, then continued, "The fif and the velk had a near-continuous history of warfare with one another. But 25 years ago they were able to make peace and work together. They consider warp drive to be the crowning achievement to that peace. Currently, the fif and velk operate under a coalition government, whose membership consists of both species. They have agreed that Glosant will only join the Federation if both the fif and velk vote for it."

"Essentially, both species have the power to veto their membership into the Federation," Vagan added—still smiling.

Picard, trying his best not to look at Vagan, asked, "And our role here is to represent Starfleet?"

"Correct," Bozworth answered. "The people of Glosant understand that if they join the Federation, then having some of their population serve in Starfleet is a given."

"What are our tasks?" Worf asked.

Bozworth replied, "Simply answer questions that they may have and partake in the ceremonies and events they have planned. The representatives will be here shortly. They will be with you most of the time and make their reports to the coalition government. Their recommendations will carry a lot of weight. Please answer all their questions where the answers aren't classified."

Picard sighed. He hated this diplomatic bulls**t. Still, Bozworth continued, "Teams similar to yours, from different ships, are all around the planet right now doing the same thing in different cities."

"You can rely on us to present an honest example to both races," Worf said.

_Ugh_, Picard thought.

Bozworth smiled at Worf's remark. "I'm very glad to hear that! When the representatives arrive, you will be divided, at your captain's discretion, into groups. One group will go with the fif and the other with the velk representatives."

Picard heard a nearby set of sliding doors open, then Bozworth say, "Ah, they've arrived."

Two people walked into the room. One was a guy, but Picard's attention was immediately focused on the other, who happened to be a woman. The captain could see that the rumors were true! Just a few inches shorter than Picard, the woman had a stunning figure with long hair that went down to her hips. She was wearing a dark red, professional shirt and matching pants, both of which hugged her frame nicely. The two people looked almost exactly human except for the fact that the irises of their eyes were iridescent, creating different colors as they moved.

Bozworth spoke, "This is Met Gelth," the guy alien nodded, "and Gol Avvy." Then the woman alien nodded. "They are the representatives for the fif."

Bozworth then introduced the _Enterprise_ team. When the captain's name was mentioned, the guy alien (Picard already forgot his name) looked excited and said, "It's a great pleasure to meet you! We've heard much about your time as captain of the _Enterprise_!"

Before Picard had time to bask in the praise from some dude he didn't care about, the woman alien said, "Yes, indeed many of your encounters with hostile forces are much studied." She gave Picard a stony look and her tone suggested her impression of him was anything but positive.

_Wonderful_, Picard thought.

Picard heard the door open again and Vagan say, "Ah, good, the velk representatives have arrived."

Picard turned to see two creatures come into the room. Sheer horror and disgust descended into Picard's soul. He wasn't expecting both species to have hot women, but he assumed both would be humanoid. But the velk were about as far from a humanoid as Picard's worst nightmare could imagine. Each creature was shaped like a short, squat pod, less than a meter high. They moved forward on thousands and thousands of tiny little appendages that were just underneath them. Surrounding them on all sides (except the front) were nine long tentacles that extended from their base. The tentacles were kept loosely erect, the tips of which reach up to roughly human height. They wore no clothes and their entire bodies were a dark green-grey color. But by far, their most disturbing feature was that the two small dark orbs that wobbled on thin stalks rising from the same level where their tentacles started. Picard watched the orbs blink and realized they were eyes.

Vagan, flashing a big toothy grin, said, "These are the two velk representatives: Gopg and Kurknch."

When Vagan introduced Picard, the velk showed a similar display of excitement that the male fif did. The captain had a hard time listening though. He could hear their voices just fine, but didn't see how they were making the sounds. Picard couldn't see a mouth anywhere on them.

Bozworth clapped his hands, taking Picard out of his horrified gazing. "I'm sorry we have to keep the introductions so short, but the itinerary is very tight for today. Captain, if you would assign team members to go with each group we can get started."

"Yes, just a moment," Picard said and drew Worf and Wesley away from the others so they could talk privately for a minute.

Both of them looked just as unsettled at the sight of the velk as Picard did. Worf spoke up first, keeping his voice low so only Picard and Wesley could hear him, "Captain, I believe my knowledge of weapons systems and security tactics would be very interesting to the fif and—"

"Save your breath, Mr. Worf," Picard interrupted. "You and Mr. Crusher are going with the tentacle monsters."

With that settled, the team returned and split into groups. The fif, Bozworth, and Picard went as one group and the velk, Vagan, Worf, and Wesley went as a second. Each group departed separately.


	4. Chapter 4: Picard's Meeting

Worf looked around the underground chamber. It seemed somewhat large, maybe twenty meters in diameter? It was hard to tell because it was so dimly lit. The light wasn't artificial either, instead it emanated from purplish-pink mold growing in veins all over the rocky surface that made up the walls and ceiling. Worf couldn't tell if the dark spots in the jagged wall surface were simply small recesses or the beginnings of tunnels that led to yet more chambers. He didn't like the fact that there might be something there he could see. Then again, he didn't exactly like what he could see either.

Immediately surrounding him were dozens of velk. Many of them appeared to be looking at him with those orb-eyes. The tentacles on all of the aliens were wobbling and twitching in various ways. Most of the aliens were moving slightly from spot to spot in a manner that was something of a cross between gliding and crawling like a snail. There were only two humanoids with him: that spineless weakling Wesley and that deeply unnerving Vagan.

The trip to this cave had been brief. Shortly after exiting the antechamber with his group, Worf and everyone else entered a device with windows all around that was suspended underneath a rail system. It quickly transported the group into the city before turning down at an angle and going into a large hole. One of the velk (Worf believed her name was Gopg) informed him and Wesley that prior to the peace, the city had once been part of velk territory. Their species, apparently, lived mostly underground so there was a large network of underground chambers and tunnels where most of the velk worked and resided.

After a short trip down, the device stopped and the group moved to a chamber where Worf now found himself.

"Citizens of the Federation, I most humbly welcome you into our world. Other than Mr. Vagan, you are the first non-Glosantians to come here," Gopg said. At least Worf thought it was Gopg because of her voice. All the velk were identical in appearance.

Worf wasn't sure how to respond. "It is a privilege to be here."

"Likewise," said Wesley nervously.

Gopg continued, "As is customary, we will welcome you new comers with our ancient traditions. Let us begin the rape!"

"_Rape?"_ Worf and Wesley both shouted.

"She means 'Bonding Ceremony,'" Vagan explained. "The velk use the same word for both concepts. Sometimes the universal translator has trouble with the syntax."

"We mean you no harm," reassured Gopg. "It is a harmless tradition that encourages bonding and friendship."

Somehow the fact that a species used the same word for 'rape' and 'Bonding Ceremony' overshadowed any effort Gopg made to calm Worf.

"It's really quite enjoyable," Vagan grinned. "I've done it before. The entire ceremony consists of them touching us with their appendages. The velk are very tactile in their sensory perception. Touching things helps them 'see' you better and promotes friendship. Mmm…very close friendship."

"And don't you worry," added Gopg. "We know how you humanoids don't like things going into your orifices. We'll be sure to only linger around the edges."

Again, somehow all those words didn't help Worf's apprehension.

"Well," said Vagan. "I say we should get started."

The Worf watched in absolute horror as Vagan started to undress. That's when he heard Wesley say, "I-I think I might have a stomach virus."

Worf turned to him and saw, even in this dim light, that Wesley's face was completely pale. The ensign continued, "I need to go back!" Then he ran back in the direction they came.

Before Worf had a chance to go after him, Vagan (now completely naked) laid a hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't worry, the transport unit will take him directly back to the embassy building and he'll be taken to the medical wing."

Gopg said, "Yes, and it's perfectly acceptable in our customs for someone to go through the ceremony on behalf of a close friend. You'll just have to do it twice."

"Ensign Crusher is not my _close friend_," Worf carefully explained.

"Well, crewmate should be close enough," Gopg said. "Anyway let's start!"

"Yes, _let's_," smiled Vagan before sitting down with legs crossed and arms outstretched.

"Mr. Vagan," Gopg said, "you do not need to go through the process again."

Vagan replied, "I know, but I insist. I think this allows me to better immerse myself in your wonderful culture."

"Well, that's fine…I guess," Gopg said in a somewhat unsure tone.

All the velk appeared to be looking at Worf now. Dreading the fact that he didn't seem to have a choice, Worf undressed and assumed the same position that Vagan did. As he felt the tentacles start to work their way on his body, Worf tried to steel his resolve.

_I am a warrior_, Worf told himself. _I do _not_ run from a challenge!_

When he felt a tentacle start to creep unnervingly low, Worf thought, _J-just go to your happy place, Worf_.

* * *

Picard walked along an open stone pathway that ran alongside a hill. It offered a very scenic view of the city to his right. Nearly all the buildings looked new and many vehicles were either flying through the air or silently traveled along overhead rails. Some ways in the distance he could see another building come into view as the curvature of the hillside gave way. Presumably that structure was his destination.

The Federation liaison was walking just behind him. On his left was the guy alien and on his right the woman. Picard tried stealing glances of her from the corner of his eyes while he heard the guy alien speak.

"I can hardly believe the exploits you've had, Captain!" the guy said. "The romulans, cardassians, and not to mention the borg! Reading about how you handled each situation is truly amazing! I've spent hours and hours pouring over your encounters! It's hard to believe that I actually have the chance to meet you!"

Picard smiled, he was definitely loving this. "Thank you. You know, it's even more amazing when you factor in my disadvantages, what with being French and all."

"Yes," said the woman alien curtly. "The Federation has made quite a list of enemies."

The captain turned his head at her, but she was looking straight ahead with an angry expression. Without saying anything else she started walking ahead of the group.

"My apologies," the guy alien said, embarrassed. Picard watched him walk ahead to join the woman where the two of them started talking. The captain couldn't hear what they said, but they appeared to be arguing.

Then he heard the liaison walk up next to him. "I know that seemed rude."

"That's because it was," Picard replied in an indifferent tone. He wasn't thrilled that the first hot female he met on Glosant obviously hated him, but hopefully he would get to meet others. For now, the captain enjoyed taking in the view that she was offering by showing him her backside. He hoped all women on the planet shared her same fashion sense for form-fitting pants.

"You need to understand something about the people of this planet," the liaison continued. "While the velk are almost unanimous in their support for joining the Federation, there is a large faction in the fif government that is against it. For millennia the entire planet has known nothing but war. Even after twenty-five years, the memories are still fresh in everyone's mind."

"I see," Picard said, pretending to care.

"Many are loath to join the Federation because they think that it would mean more enemies, more conflict, and more war. They are in the minority, but they still present a considerable political obstacle for everyone who wants to join."

By this time the group was now at the building. The two aliens waited at the entrance for Picard and the liaison, then the four of them entered. Picard looked around and saw that it was a very large room, essentially taking up most of the interior space of the building. In the center was a long table with a U-shape and chairs all along its length. Behind the table, centered straight in front of him, was an enormous stencil on the wall.

Picard saw the stencil was a simple drawing of a humanoid form and a tentacle monster form. The humanoid was holding out its hand and holding one of the tentacle monster's tentacles. It was an obvious symbol of peace or unity or some such bulls**t. But Picard also saw more aliens in the room. Around five or saw, the captain didn't really care enough to count. Unfortunately, all of them were male.

"Please, Captain," the first guy alien he met said. "Take a seat here. These are all people are all, well, what we call cultural specialists. We'll simply ask questions to help us understand what it means to serve in Starfleet."

Picard nodded and took a seat at the bottom portion of the table. The aliens took seats near him on both sides. The liaison sat at the far end of the table in silence. The captain answered their questions. Most were about specific details of day-to-day operations. Some concerned broader command actions, like how Starfleet decides where to position its ships or what part of the galaxy to explore. The woman alien's questions, however, were thinly veiled accusations.

"In a typical encounter with a hostile force, how many lives would you say you endanger?" she asked. "And how many of those lives would be innocent civilians?"

_Gee, lady, are you sure you don't want to ask me how many babies I stab and how often I like to kick puppies?_ Picard thought.

Picard answered the questions as politely as he could. In spite of his disdain for formality and tact, he did have a knack for delicacy when the moment called for it. Apparently it was working. Everyone, except the woman alien, seemed to respond positively to his answers.

When the questioning session was complete, lunch was served. Servers came in through multiple doors with serving trays and platters. The atmosphere became much more informal as most of the aliens sat closer to Picard and just started chatting with him. They all seemed to be of the same amicable persuasion of the first guy alien. The food wasn't bad either. Unfortunately, none of the drinks were alcoholic.

The woman sat just at the edge of the rest, eating in silence. Halfway through the meal, Picard saw a man walk into the room. He looked older than most of the other aliens there. The man had grey hair and a rather large gut. His clothes, however, appeared very formal and very expertly tailored. He didn't walk toward the rest, but stood just at the building's entrance. The woman, upon spotting him, got up and went over to talk to him, out of earshot of everyone else. They occasionally stole disapproving glances of Picard.

When the captain asked about the older man, someone near him said, "That's Jade Orravth. He's the leader of the isolationist faction. He wasn't scheduled to make an appearance. We had no idea he would be here."

Someone else added, "I guess he wanted to see you in person."

Just before the meal was finished, he left and the woman came back to the table to sit down without saying a word. Afterward, everyone stood and kindly said their goodbyes to Picard. The captain then left the building with the liaison. The two original representatives stayed inside.

Once outside the liaison said, "I think that went well. I'll show you to your quarters. Tonight there will be a dinner with fif and velk guests. Your two crewmembers should be back soon so you'll all have time to prepare and rest as need be."

Picard nodded. Hopefully there would be some downtime later during his stay on this planet. As he walked, he idly wondered what the bars around here were like.


	5. Chapter 5: Picard's Dinner

Picard looked around his quarters while stretching his arms behind his back and letting out a belch. The quarters were spacious enough—there was a bedroom, bathroom, living area and work space. It was larger than his captain's cabin onboard the _Enterprise_. The amenities seemed sufficient, except there wasn't a—no wait! Picard suddenly spotted a minibar near the corner of the work area.

Smiling, the captain immediately walked over to it. Upon opening it, he saw various bottles of different shapes and sizes. Picard reached for one and unscrewed the lid. Taking a quick sniff, he was rather disappointed; it didn't have much of a scent. He downed the entire contents of the bottle anyway. It didn't taste like much either. Now frowning, Picard sampled the contents of more bottles but found them all to be lacking. He could swear there wasn't a drop of alcohol in any of them.

Sighing, Picard noticed his belongings neatly stacked near the bedroom's entrance (they had been delivered on a separate shuttle). He walked over to them, rummaged around for a minute, then produced a silver hip flask.

"Thank goodness I didn't have to go through customs," Picard muttered before taking a sip.

There was a display mounted on one of the walls. Picard did pick up on a tidbit at lunch where he learned this planet had television. Curious, he was about to turn it on when he heard someone at the door.

"Come," Picard said, hastily hiding the flask on his persons.

In stepped a very pale looking Wesley. The ensign seemed even more pathetic than usual, with a nervous expression on his face. He stepped toward Picard, rapidly cupping his hands over and over—a mannerism the captain found particularly distracting. Oh how he longed for the days when the cat o' nine tails was an acceptable form of corporal punishment.

"Sir, I just came here from medical. The staff told me where your quarters would be," Wesley said. "I apologize, but I had to cut my session with the velk short. I suddenly became ill."

"Mm," Picard grunted. The information was equal parts unsurprising and boring.

Just as the captain started wondering if he could find any bar soap to place in a bag and use to beat Wesley, there was someone else at the door.

"Come," the captain sighed.

The doors opened and Worf walked into the room. At first his expression was just one notch angrier than his usual scowl, but when his eyes focused on Wesley he truly became enraged, even by klingon standards.

Without saying anything to the captain, he paced over the Wesley and menaced over him. The ensign leaned back, his eyes growing to the size of saucers.

"When you left, I had to go through that ceremony _twice_!" growled Worf. "It took over an _hour_! Do you have _any_ idea what it's like to have a hundred tentacles probing every inch of your skin?"

"Um…unpleasant?" Wesley guessed.

"_Very_!" Worf barked.

Picard was both fascinated and horrified by what Worf said. He wanted to know what Worf was talking about…and yet he didn't. The captain finally decided that it wasn't worth knowing.

"I'm sure that's all very interesting, Mr. Worf. But, when you make your report, route it through Commander Riker for approval, not me," Picard said.

At the sound of the captain's voice, Worf turned to him. "Sir, permission to beat the living s**t out of Ensign Crusher."

"Absolutely not!" Picard replied in a stern tone. "I don't want to explain how blood ended up in yet another one of my quarters! I swear…one Verulian hooker ends up dead in your suite and Starfleet never lets you live it down."

Wesley, seemingly grateful for being spared retribution via an angry klingon, stepped back and allowed a nervous smile to appear on his face. "Well, I think I should go to my own quarters and prepare for tonight's dinner."

As Wesley slinked out of the room, Worf asked the captain, "How was your experience with the fif, sir? Did they insist on touching you too?"

"No, although I wouldn't have minded if that woman, what's-her-name, had done so…especially if the touching was mutual," Picard replied.

Worf gave him somewhat disapproving look, but said nothing.

The captain sighed. "Just go back to your quarters. I need to prepare too—we need to wear our dress uniforms. Hopefully it won't last long. I'd rather like the chance to go see some of the city, especially its inhabitants."

Worf frowned—he knew exactly what the captain was referring to—then left. When he was gone, Picard took out his flask and took another shot. He hoped the beverages they were serving tonight were stronger than that weak crap kept in the minibar.

* * *

Later that even, just before the meal was to begin, Picard learned two horrible things that officially made this mission not worth coming. Walking into an elaborate dining hall, he spotted the Starfleet liaison (the non-creepy one, what was his name? Bozman?) and chatted with him as he waited for the rest of the guests to attend.

Picard recalled the unimpressive spirits he found in his quarters. "I bet the previous guests drank most of them and then watered them down."

"Actually," the liaison said, "there's no alcohol here anywhere. It's extremely toxic to fif biology. None is allowed on the planet, not even synthehol. What they use in its place…well, I agree. It isn't very potent for humans."

The revelation left Picard speechless. What nightmarish world had he come to? Finally managing to swallow a lump that was building in his throat, Picard asked the liaison about what the night life was around here. Maybe something of this trip could be salvageable.

"Well," the liaison said in a reluctant tone. "My apologies, captain. The Federation has insisted that all Starfleet officers assigned to this goodwill mission not leave their respective areas. The people of Glosant are reluctant to let their populations have too much exposure to outsiders, at least for the time being."

Picard's jaw dropped. The liaison didn't notice, however. The meal was about to start and he walked over to take his seat. Picard remained behind, motionless for a minute.

"I think I need a drink," the captain said. He took a step and realized what he just said. For the first time in many years, he felt like crying.

Feeling rather listless, Picard took his seat and the meal started. All the fif he saw earlier that day were there—including that one woman who hated him—and there were also plenty of tentacle monsters. There were the typical meaningless spoken niceties at the beginning, and then the actual food was served.

Somewhat to Picard's surprise, the tentacle monsters were eating the same food as the humanoids. The food, the captain had to admit, was pretty good. He didn't recognize any of it, but it was still enjoyable. His mood slowly started improving as he ate.

One of the human aliens sitting next to him asked Picard if he knew what his dish was made from.

"Nope," Picard replied. "And I want to keep it that way." One thing he had learned while traveling to different planets and sampling different cuisine, was that the fastest way to ruin a great meal was to learn what it actually came from. There was one planet where Picard sampled perhaps the greatest food he had ever put in his mouth. It was like eating a piece of heaven! He enjoyed it so much that he eagerly asked what it was. He was told that it was a fungus that grew in the armpit of some animal that ate nothing but rotting carcasses. That food never again tasted as good as it once did.

As he was taking another bite of whatever was on his plate, Picard heard one of the female tentacle monsters ask, "Mr. Worf, I've been meaning to ask you, but during the Bonding Ceremony today, why did you undress?"

Picard jerked his head around to look at the klingon. Worf's expression was one of shock. Silent for a moment, he finally said, "I thought it was a requirement."

"Why would you think that?" the tentacle monster asked.

"Because Mr. Vagan did so," Worf explained.

The tentacle monster said, "Well, Mr. Vagan…he just does that for some reason."

Picard's turned to look at Vagan, seated a few chairs down and across the table. Vagan told the group, "I believe being undressed gives me greater…_exposure_ to the velk culture." He then grinned while biting his lower lip.

_That pun is horrible on so many levels_, thought Picard.

Everyone did their best at ignoring Vagan's comment. That's when the captain looked across the table and saw one of the tentacle monsters acting weird. At least, it seemed weird to Picard. It was looking at him and while circling the tip of one of its tentacles around the top part of its pod body. Then it discretely inserted the tentacle's tip inside and quickly took it out before anyone else noticed.

_Is-is that thing hitting on me?_ The thought instantly ruined Picard's appetite.

"Captain."

Picard turned to look at the female alien. She had just finished her meal and was staring straight at him. Up until now she had not said a word.

"Of all the alien races you and your crew has fought, which had a culture that antagonized you the most?" she asked.

_Seriously? Even now?_ Picard wanted to groan and go grab a bottle of whisky. Fortunately, however, the other meal guests were indignant at her remarks, even the tentacle monsters. They suddenly spoke up and commented on what poor form her question was. Picard felt justified in not responding.

Once the meal was over, some of the aliens apologized for the woman alien's behavior to Picard. He finally remembered that her name was Avvy—it was worth remembering now—and made some sort-of remark to show he wasn't offended.

Eventually he made his way back to his quarters. It was late, but he wasn't tired. He changed into his regular uniform and started to take another shot from his flask. But then he thought better of it. That flask possessed all the alcohol that Picard would drink for his entire stay, it needed to be conserved.

Come to think of it, Picard didn't want it to be found on him just to have it confiscated. Instead he emptied the contents of the bottles in the minibar and filled it with the contents of his flask. Now if anyone found it, they would just assume it was whatever they decided to drink around here.

Picard decided to leave his quarters and make an attempt at leaving. Maybe he could impress whoever was guarding the exits with his rank. Meh, it was worth a try.


	6. Chapter 6: Picard's Encounters

Picard walked down along a paved path that went between two rows of buildings that showed no signs of activity. The sun was down and it was dark outside, however lamps lit every street and walkway, so the captain had no problem navigating his way to the gate. Earlier he had been able to look at a map of the facilities where he currently found himself. Not counting the embassy building, the entire area wasn't that large. There was only one gate and Picard vaguely remembered one of the human aliens saying that it wasn't guarded by any authorities of the planet. That meant the only people who would stop Picard from leaving would be Federation personnel.

He felt confident he could exert enough influence over any poor schmuck assigned to guard duty. Picard's confidence dropped when he reached the gate and saw who was guarding it. The person looked human, but he definitely wasn't Starfleet. The Federation was using its own people for a security crew. Picard's rank would not help him here.

But, Picard wasn't one to give up right away. He walked up to the guard who immediately blocked his path. The guard was facing Picard and holding a phasor rifle that was pointed down and to his side.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm under orders not to let any Starfleet personnel out," the guard said.

"Do you know who I am?" Picard asked, with a vaguely threatening tone. Maybe his reputation might help.

"No, sir, I-"

The captain said firmly, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship _Enterprise_."

"I'm sure that's nice, sir, but I still can't let you go." The guard stood there, clearly unimpressed.

Picard sighed. His dreams of meeting the locals were dashed. Dejected, the captain turned around, but then heard the guard cough in such a way that it was clearly meant to get his attention. Picard turned around to look at him. The man was now wearing a sympathetic expression.

"Sir, I'm actually part betazoid and well…" the guard trailed off. Pausing for a minute, he then continued with a hushed voice. "Channel 46 in the porno channel."

Picard felt his heart grow warm. The level of gratitude and respect he now had for this man was enormous. Maybe he was just some poor guy assigned a boring job, but the guard recognized the horrible position Picard was in and was able to sympathize and at least offer some small, yet significant, gesture to help the captain out. Picard walked over to him. He wished money still existed so he could tip the guy. Instead, the captain laid a hand on his should and gave him a firm nod. At least the guard should be able to read how grateful Picard was.

The made his way back with a new sense of determination. Tonight wouldn't be a complete and total loss. But as he was walking toward the building that housed his room, he noticed (out of the corner of his eye) some figures scurrying around in the dark. Turning his head to try to get a better look, he couldn't see them now. He decided to walk to the place where he thought he noticed them, then realized he was standing next to the same building where he had met to talk with the human aliens earlier.

A little interested, Picard walked around to the entrance and went inside. The interior was still lit and everything looked much the same as it did earlier that day. The table and chairs were still in the same position. The stupid mural on the wall was the same. But now, standing directly in front of him, was Avvy.

Her back was to the captain at first. But, apparently, he made a noise and caused her to turn around. She looked startled to see him.

"Captain?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

Picard told her the truth, "I decided to take a little stroll and thought I saw something."

Her expression of surprised quickly molded into that of restrained loathing. She crossed her arms and turned back around. Picard guessed that she had been looking at that drawing before he arrived.

"You know, captain," she suddenly said. "This entire facility used to be a velk military base. After the peace was established, it was handed over to the fif as a goodwill gesture. This entire city was once an exclusive domain of the velk. When the peace came, my people entered the city and started working alongside the velk. We built most of the buildings you saw today, including this one."

She started walking around the table, gently touching it as she moved. "This building was actually one of the first built in this city. It's where the velk and fif city leaders met to reaffirm the peace we share. The building is officially called the Rising Hope Meeting Hall."

Picard, realizing things had suddenly taken a turn for the boring, decided to leave. "I should go."

But he stopped when he heard her continue. "I was very young when the peace came, but I remember what it was like to run in fear from the bombings. Life was difficult back then."

Picard tried to not look unimpressed, but that's exactly what he was. He had come across a lot of people who had suffered from war, it wasn't exactly new to him. What's more, many of the other planets were at the losing end of a war with another planet (the bajorans quickly popped to his mind). But Glosant wasn't at war with a different planet. No, this world was doing it all to itself.

Avvy was now facing him. "I will try to do everything in my power to prevent anyone from getting ensnared in another war! Especially one with a people who was completely unknown to us five years ago!"

Picard finally had enough. "No one can unilaterally prevent a conflict," Picard replied in disgust. "If people could do that, there would be no such thing as victims. Do you think the borg, if they ever came to your world, would leave you alone because you decided not to join the Federation? Do you think they wouldn't try to assimilate you?"

Shaking his head, Picard turned to leave once more.

"Wait!" he suddenly heard Avvy shout. "I want to show you something."

* * *

Avvy had led Picard to a nearby building that was a bit more practical in his opinion. It was a simple office building without any contrived, simplistic wall murals. Picard didn't notice anyone around as Avvy led him through the hallways. The time was probably later than he realized.

Soon they reached a room that Avvy said was her office. She grabbed a pad and started typing on it while facing a large monitor on the wall. After a few seconds, the monitor turned on and started showing a pre-recorded image of a male human alien. He looked somewhat old and had salt-and-pepper hair. He was behind a podium and appeared to be speaking to a crowd that was out of sight from the camera.

"So why should we limit our peace and friendship only to this world? Let's extend our hands toward the stars with respect and curiosity filling our hearts!"

At those words, Picard could hear enthusiastic clapping and cheering. He turned his head toward Avvy who was frowning.

"That's Edtb Etim," she explained. "He's a strong proponent for joining the Federation. Here, this is what I want you to see."

Suddenly, the monitor flashed and now a new person appeared on the screen, but with the same background and podium. Picard recognized him from earlier.

"I believe he came to the meeting earlier today," the captain said.

"Yes," Avvy replied. "That's Jade Orravth. I'm sure someone already told you that he's the leader of the faction I represent."

Picard nodded while watching the man speak.

"These people that many are so willing to join in friendship…well, they're not exactly the best at making friends of their own. They have a violent history of warfare against multiple and _powerful_ species."

Picard was unimpressed by the propaganda. The man continued on and on. At first the crowd sounded infuriated by what he was saying, but were slowly coming around. By the end of his speech, they were cheering even harder for him than the first speaker. Glancing at Avvy, Picard could see that she was equally inspired. Her eyes were almost glowing (really…it apparently was part of their physiology).

She turned to him and said, "Don't you see now? Don't you see why joining the Federation is a mistake?"

Picard cocked his head a little and put on an expression of (what he hoped would pass for) concern.

"You seem a little tense right now," he said.

"Well," Avvy said, a little taken aback. "I haven't had much sleep lately."

Picard said, "On earth, there's a custom to help people relax. It's called a boob massage. I'm very good at it."

* * *

Not long later, Picard found himself back in his quarters. Just as he closed the door behind him, he heard a knock. He opened it to see one of the tentacle monsters staring up at him.

"Hello, Captain Picard," she said. "Remember me?"

Picard was fairly sure that she was one of the first two tentacle monsters he met, just going by the voice. But he didn't remember the name, probably something hard to pronounce.

"Uh…Gorp, is it?" he asked.

She giggled, then said, "No, my name is Gopg."

"Well, Gopg, to what do I owe the honor?"

Gopg reached around his head with own of her tentacles. "The records Starfleet sent us show that you are not attached to any female of your own species. I'm sure you saw my mannerisms at dinner tonight. Needless to say, I'm _very_ open about interspecies relationships."

Horror filled Picard's heart like never before. He had to act fast!

"The...uh, my…you see…," Picard stuttered as another tentacle crept up his arm. "The records…the records haven't been updated yet!"

"Hm?" Gopg asked.

"You, see," Picard began, "I actually recently married someone. The paper work is still being processed by Starfleet."

Gopg withdrew her tentacles and said in a suspicious tone, "A female has attached herself with you?"

"Yes," he replied and reached for a pad that was sitting on a nearby stand. He brought up his crew roster and hastily scrolled down. He handed the pad to Gopg who looked at it.

"That's her and she would never forgive me if I cheated," Picard lied.

Unfortunately, looking at the pad, the captain saw that he had scrolled to the wrong crewmember. He had intended to bring up a photo of Beverly or Troi. Instead, he could see a picture of Riker.

But before he could try to explain the mistake, Gopg said, "She's…beautiful. I can see why you care for her so much."

Picard held back a sigh of relief. At least the tentacle monsters were as bad at knowing humanoid genders as Picard was at determining their genders.

"Love of my life," Picard said.

Gopg handed back the pad. "I understand. Still, would you be willing to accept a small token from me? Just a simple reminder of your stay on our world?"

Picard nodded, somewhat worried what this "token" might be. With another of her tentacles, Gopg handed Picard a small…something. It was tiny, gold colored, and had simple design with a clasp attached to it.

"It's a sleeve ornament," Gopg explained. "Just attach it to the end of your sleeve."

Out of politeness, Picard thanked her and attached it as she suggested. Then Gopg left and Picard shut the door.

He slowly walked to the center of the room, still feeling grateful that he managed to get out of that situation. Then he noticed a monitor on the wall and recalled the guard's words.

Excitedly, Picard rushed over to the screen, turned it on and brought up channel 46. Instantly, an image of intertwined moist tentacles appeared, moving in a manner that made the captain want to burn his eyes.

Then he heard a female voice say, "Mmm, I like how you deliver gapgog. I should order it more often."

"Well, this is a _special_ delivery," a male voice replied.

Picard hastily turned off the screen and cringed in a corner, placing his hands behind his head and forming the fetal position. He tried to remember if there was a technology that could take that image out of his head. Was there a laser beam or something he could shoot at himself and make him forget what he just saw? If that didn't work, maybe he could use a power drill on his head.


	7. Chapter 7: Picard's Mettle

There was a joint session planned for today. The two Glosant species representatives were going to interview the _Enterprise_ group as a whole. It was to be held in that building with the asinine mural. Picard and Worf arrived early. Originally, Wesley had come with them, but Picard sent the ensign back to find something he had "forgotten" at his quarters. Picard didn't even remember what he told Wesley to find. It didn't matter because it wasn't actually there. Picard simply didn't want to spend any extra time around Wesley. And it was funny.

Still, not even sending Wesley to do a pointless task could cheer the captain up very much. That image from channel 46 was still burned into his head. To take his mind off it, he started chatting with Worf as they watched the aliens slowly pour into the room.

At some point, Worf asked, "What did she do then?"

"She slapped me," Picard answered.

"Sir, has that line ever worked?"

"No," Picard said. "But when it does, it will be awesome."

Minutes before the start of the session, Picard saw Wesley enter and walk over to him. The ensign's face, as usual, looked nervous.

"Sir, I couldn't find your rare print edition of _King Lear_," Wesley said, clearly afraid.

Picard narrowed his eyes. "Mr. Crusher, I brought that book with me for just such an event as this! I assume even you realize how useful it would be!"

Wesley's eyes quickly darted to the sides and then stared back at the captain. "Y-yes."

Picard leaned forward and lowered his voice. He spoke in a tone that resonated with anger. "If anything goes wrong today, Mr. Crusher, it will _not_ reflect well on your upcoming evaluation."

The captain then walked toward his seat, catching the briefest glimpse of a mortified expression on Wesley.

After sitting down, the small talk continued for some time. Picard chatted with the human aliens sitting immediately to his left and to his right. However, as time passed, none of the tentacle monsters showed. Picard also noticed the Federation liaisons weren't present. The discussion quickly focused on the absent members.

Picard noticed that Avvy took out what looked like a communication device. She seemed troubled as she stared down at it. Then she put it away and excused herself. Picard's eyes followed to the exit and that's when he spotted Vagan entering.

The liaison looked a little worried himself, but Picard admitted, he probably only thought that because the man wasn't wearing his characteristic creepy smile. When Vagan's eyes met his, he motioned for the captain to come over to him. Picard, reluctantly, complied.

Vagan started speaking to the captain in a low voice that couldn't be overheard. "Captain, have you seen Mr. Bozworth yet?"

"No," Picard answered. "I take it you haven't either?"

Vagan shook his head. "We were to convene earlier this morning before the joint session. But I received an urgent message from the velk representatives. I've been speaking with them most of this morning and there's considerable confusion. Apparently, they've received word not to leave their underground chambers."

"From whom?" Picard asked.

"The velk government," Vagan said. "I've been trying to reach Mr. Bozworth and explain what has happened, but he isn't answering his communicator. If he isn't here, then he must be at the fif bureau building. Unfortunately, I need to go back to the velk immediately. I'd rather not alarm the fif representatives here. Captain, could I ask you to go let him know where I am and ask him to contact me as soon as possible?"

Picard shrugged. "Sure."

"Thank you, do you know where the building is at?"

Picard suspected he was referring to the office building Avvy led him to last night. After confirming this fact with Vagan, he started walking there while Vagan went back to the velk.

But Picard's walking slowed as he approached the building. It was quiet here, just like last night. At this time of day, the captain did expect to see some activity such as people walking in and out or walking past the windows. But it was dead quiet. Things were just as quiet on the inside. He couldn't see or hear any people.

"Hello?" Picard called out. There was no answer.

Vagan explained earlier that the fif provided Bozworth with an office in this building and told Picard where to find it. Walking forward, Picard heard his footstep just faintly echo against the hallway walls. After making a few turns, Picard spotted the office.

The door was unlocked and Picard let himself inside. The office looked pretty typical of a Federation bureaucrat to the captain. There was a standard desk, chair, monitor and a couple of plants. On the wall were a few pictures of past Federation leaders. This was definitely Bozworth's office. However, Bozworth wasn't here.

Sighing, Picard decided to wait a few minutes (maybe the guy was using the bathroom) before continuing his search. He took out one of the tiny bottles from the minibar he always kept in his pockets. But, before he could unscrew the cap and take a shot, he noticed something.

Poking out from behind a low stack of boxes, Picard could see part of a shoe. Quickly setting down the bottle he rushed over and saw Bozworth lying down on the floor, unmoving. It didn't even look like he was breathing.

Just as Picard bent down everything went black.

* * *

Picard heard voices before he could open his eyes.

"…that help?"

"…achieve…can't permit…"

"No, you said it wouldn't…"

"…understand that sometimes…"

Slowly regaining consciousness, Picard realized that one of the voices belonged to Avvy, the other one sounded familiar, but he wasn't quite sure who it belonged to. Brining his head up, Picard cracked open his eyes and blinked a few times. He soon realized he was tied to a chair. He also noticed he was still in Bozworth's office. He was pointed toward the door and Bozworth was still on the floor, just at his feet. Two other people were in the room now—Avvy and Orravth.

Avvy looked worried, at the verge of panic. Orravth appeared calm and seemed to try to help calm Avvy as well. Picard noticed he was holding a phasor, currently pointed at the floor.

"Ah, he's awake," Picard heard Orravth announce.

Avvy's head turned toward Picard, "Captain?"

"What's going on?" Picard demanded.

A smile spread across Orravth's face. "Captain, I'm afraid your stay at Glosant will be cut short. But first, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jade Orravth."

"I know," Picard said. "I assume you're why I'm tied up and Bozworth's unconscious?"

"Actually, he's dead," Orravth replied. "His death—and yours—will serve as the final warning to the Federation to not meddle with our world."

"No, Orravth! Please, we can't—" Avvy started to say, but she was interrupted by Orravth.

"Avvy," Orravth said in a reassuring tone, "this must be done. It's the only way."

"No!" shouted Avvy. "The only reason why I followed this movement—followed you—was to prevent more killing! There's many, many months before the issue is brought to a vote! There's still time to change people's minds!"

Orravth shook his head. "No, too many people are supporting the Federation. We won't have a chance with the other politicians. Forcing the Federation to back off is now our only option. And it needs to be you, Avvy."

Orravth tried handing Avvy the phasor, she refused. Closing her eyes and shaking her head she again shouted, "No!"

"Avvy-"

"I will not murder another sentient life! Never!"

Then Picard heard a new voice from just outside the office. "This isn't working, Jade."

Picard thought the voice sounded familiar and he recognized the person it belonged to. Stepping into the room was the other man he saw on the monitor last night.

"Edtb Etim?" Avvy said in surprise.

The man, however, ignored Avvy and continued to speak to Orravth. "I told you it wouldn't work."

A sad look spread over Orravth's face. Sighing, the man said, "It was worth trying. I thought if she killed Picard, then maybe she would be more inclined to follow us in the end."

"_Us?_" Avvy gasped. "You're working together?"

Etim took out a phasor and pointed it toward Avvy. "You should have listened to your icon. Now your fate will be the same as the Terrans'."

"I don't understand…" Avvy said, choking out the word through fear and confusion.

Orravth said, "Avvy, the isolationist faction is just a front."

"What?"

Etim said, "When the Federation made contact five years ago, a plan was hatched. Many of us were dissatisfied with the peace, but we didn't see much of an alternative. Our forces were too weakened to engage the velk in another war. But the Federation provided an opportunity!"

Orravth explained, "The Federation's technology far surpassed our own. Having them on our side would ensure absolute victory over the velk. They just needed the proper persuasion—that's where you come in, captain."

Orravth turned to face Picard, raising his phasor. "Today, very soon, in cities all over the world, Federation diplomats and Starfleet officers will all be killed in a vicious attack, seemingly perpetrated by the velk. In fact, the building you were just at will be destroyed. Charges were just put in place last night."

Picard suddenly remembered back to last night…so he did see something after all.

Etim said, "Mr. Bozworth was meant to die in the blast along with you, but he managed to discover what we were doing. He was too late, though. We had to dispose of him ahead of schedule."

"Shortly after the bombings, mock battles and official denouncements rife with anti-humanoid propaganda will all be broadcasted. Thanks to a technology that the Federation was already willing to share with us: holograms," Orravth said.

"Never heard of CGI?" Picard asked.

Orravth ignored the captain's comment. "You should be honored, captain. We asked for you _specifically._ Your reputation in Starfleet assured that we would definitely get the attention of everyone in the Federation. Also, having the _Enterprise _return to find her captain dead at the hands of the velk will be a great asset."

Etim spoke up again, "Surprised, captain? I can only imagine how you're feeling right now."

"Are you kidding?" Picard said. "S**t like this happens to me all the time."

Orravth chuckled. "Brave to the bitter end. I admire your resolve, captain. If the other officers in Starfleet have even half your character, the velk will fall in no time."

Then Orravth looked down at Bozworth's desk and noticed Picard's bottle sitting there. He picked it up with his free hand and smiled at the captain. "Yours, I assume?"

Picard said nothing.

"I had no idea you were so fond of our beverages," Orravth said. He unscrewed the cap and downed the bottle's contents in one gulp. Then he walked toward Picard. The phasor was pointed right at the captain.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way, captain," Orravth said.

Then, an uneasy look came to Orravth. He let out a small cough, then another. Soon he was hacking uncontrollably, even dropping the phasor.

"Jade, what's wrong?" Etim called out.

Picard watched the man's skin start to turn blue and his neck swelled. Orravth now appeared unable to breath and started clawing at the neckline of his suit. With his arms still tied behind the chair, Picard lunged forward and rammed his head into Orravth's gut. The man collapsed while making gasping noises. Picard tumbled down on his side.

He could see a shocked Etim call out again for Orravth. That took his attention of Avvy, who tried grabbing his phasor. The two of them stumbled forward and fell over Orravth. Picard was able to land a kick at Etim's head. The man cried out and a phasor blast shot out only to hit a wall.

Picard watched Etim scramble to his feet and bolt out the door. The captain saw that Avvy now had his phasor and that Orravth now was motionless. Avvy quickly untied Picard and the two of them stood up.

"What happened to Orravth," Avvy asked, looking down at him.

"I guess he can't hold his liquor," Picard said, remembering Bozworth telling him that alcohol to these aliens was poisonous.

"We have to stop Etim!" Avvy said.

They ran out of the room and hurried down the hallways. They could just make out the sound of Etim leaving the bureau building. When they reached the door, they could see him in the distance, still running. That's when they saw a velk speed out from around a corner of another building and tackle Etim to the ground.

Picard and Avvy continued running until they reached the two. Picard realized the velk was Gopg once he heard it speak.

"Don't you even _think_ of moving," she said, "or I will Bonding Ceremony your ass!"

Avvy said, "We have to warn everyone that the Meeting Hall is rigged to explode!"

"We know," Gopg said. "Don't worry, everything's alright. We've already sent out a warning to the representatives in the other cities. No one's going to be hurt."

Picard heard more footsteps. He turned to see Worf and Wesley running toward him.

"Captain, are you alright?" Worf asked.

"Yes, Mr. Worf. I'm doing fine."

Wesley said, "We were worried about you, sir."

"Shut up, Wesley."


	8. Epilogue

Picard was standing in waiting chamber with his belongings. On one of the walls there was a monitor. The _Enterprise_ would be in communication's range very soon. Riker was to make contact with the captain any minute from the bridge's viewscreen. However, the captain heard a nearby door slide open.

Turning, he saw one of the velk move into the room. As soon as he heard it talk, he knew it was Gopg.

"Captain, I wanted to say a final farewell before your departure."

Picard grinned. He removed the sleeve ornament Gopg had given him earlier and handed it back to her. "This isn't actually a sleeve ornament, is it?"

Accepting the small token in one of her tentacles, Gopg replied, "Well, _technically_ yes, it is. But it also served as a tracking device and audio transmitter."

"You wanted to keep tabs on me?" Picard asked.

Gopg answered, "Our intelligence knew a fif faction was up to something and that they had plans for you. We knew your life was in danger, so we wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt."

Still grinning, Picard saw past Gopg's attempt to make this about saving him. "You're gathering intelligence on a people that you're at peace with?"

"Don't get me wrong, captain," Gopg said. "I believe in the peace, I really do. I also think our planet's future involves the fif and the velk coexisting. But we aren't _stupid_. Thousands of years of fighting won't be forgotten in just 25 short years. There's a saying among my people: probe your friends deep, but probe your enemies _deeper_."

Picard had to hand it to these tentacle monsters. They were more clever than he ever gave them credit for. "So what happened when Vagan tried to return to you?"

Gopg said, "Mr. Vagan was nearly back when we heard a phasor blast through the listening device. We could hear the voices of Mr. Orravth and Mr. Etim. To borrow an earth expression, everything clicked. We suddenly realized that the fif isolationists were merely a cover to renew hostilities. Earlier that day we had received command from what we thought were our superiors, telling us not to leave. If the Meeting Hall were to explode and we were absent it would be very suspicious, to say the least."

"So when Vagan finally returned, you all traveled to the surface?" Picard asked.

"Yes," Gopg said. "But first we attempted to inform both our government and the fif government what was going on, but we realized our communication lines outside of the city were blocked. On our way up, we could hear the conversation you were having with your captors. Once we reached the surface, we made sure everyone evacuated the meeting hall and the fif representatives contacted their leaders to warn them what was happening. They ensured that none of the Starfleet officers in the other cities were harmed."

"Then you attempted to look for me?" Picard said.

Gopg said, "Yes. We told your subordinates what was happening and we started moving toward the office building where we knew you were. But to be honest, Ensign Crusher vomited when we told him the news."

Picard nodded. "Well, at least he lived up to my expectations."

"You know, captain," Gopg said in what Picard assumed to be a seductive voice. "I wasn't being insincere with my offer the other night." She reached out with a tentacle and slowly made circle motions in Picard's chest. "If you ever come back to Glosant, feel free to take me up on it."

Suppressing a shudder, Picard suggested, "You know, if you're seeking human companionship, you might want to ask Vagan."

"Actually," Gopg replied, "he asked me out already, but I turned him down. That guy just creeps me out."

"But you know that I'm married," Picard said.

"Well, if your wife happens to changes her mind and wants to join in, then that's all the better."

An image of himself, Riker and Gopg all tangled together in some unholy three-way flashed across Picard's mind. He suddenly felt himself become ill.

The monitor suddenly flicked on and Picard saw an image of Riker standing on the bridge.

"Oh," Gopg said. "There she is now. I imagine you two would like to catch up. I'll leave you two alone."

With that, the velk left the room. After she was gone, Picard heard Riker say, "_She?_"

Picard sighed. "Long story, number one."

"I heard you had quite the experience, captain," Riker said.

"Well, let's just say it's been pretty real, but not real pretty," Picard replied.

"I meant with your mission," Riker explained.

"Oh," Picard said. "Well, I don't know. The human aliens were saying they didn't want to join the Federation, but they were lying because they still wanted to fight the tentacle monsters. But they wanted to use the Federation's technology, so they had this big plan to provoke us and, ugh." Picard waved his hands dismissively.

"Didn't something like this happen to us before?" Riker asked.

Picard shrugged, "Yeah, probably."

"Well, captain, we're within transporter range now. We can beam you up anytime you're ready."

Nodding, Picard said. "As soon as the rest arrive, I'll give you the order, number one."

"Understood, Riker out."

As soon as the monitor went dead, Picard heard the sliding doors open again. This time Picard saw Avvy walk in.

"Hello, captain," she said.

"Hello," Picard said. "It looks like you got your wish. I've been told that all debate about joining the Federation has been suspended. It seems that it'll be a few years, at the very least, until they even consider it again."

Avvy nodded, but then turned her head to the side, not looking thrilled at all. "It's not a great feeling, knowing that you were duped by someone you trusted. Everyone involved in the plot to reignite the war with the velk is being rooted out. Many of the isolationists are now under suspicion. But most were misled, just like me. I think ultimately, with us discredited, Glosant will join the Federation."

"In that case, I'm sorry that you won't be able to achieve your goal," Picard said.

Picard watched Avvy turn her head toward him. The thinly veiled hate was gone. Instead, she appeared regretful. "Captain, I think I was wrong."

"How so?"

Avvy explained, "The Federation has hundreds of alien species that are able to get along and live in peace, but we can't even manage to do that with just two. I think my planet has much it can learn from the Federation. I now look forward to joining with you one day."

It saddened Picard's heart a little to know her last sentence wasn't a euphemism.

Then she said, "Good bye, captain. I wish you well."

Picard returned the good bye and watched Avvy leave. Seconds later, Worf and Wesley walked in, carrying their belongings."

"It's about time, Mr. Crusher!" Picard shouted.

Wesley's eyes widened in shock, "Sir, this is the exact time you ordered us to be here."

Picard narrowed his eyes. "Are you arguing with me, _ensign?_"

Wesley gulped. "N-no, sir!"

"Good." Picard hit his communicator. "Picard to _Enterprise_, three to beam up."

With that, the three crewmembers returned to their ship.

**The End**

* * *

****_I hoped you enjoyed the story. All comments are much appreciated._


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